skypestripper:

u can tell a lot about a person by their background on their phones

koolaidicecubes:

goldenclitoris:

watch out i m a professional flirter *winks with both eyes*

image

baby: i- i-i-i- i-
mother: i love you?? are you saying i love you???tony come quick get the camera
baby: i-i- i dont understand why the new up-and-coming meme is a baby saying its first words, because its not really funny per say and it defies the very structure and iota of what a tumblr meme is; a short, chuckleworthy sentence such as ''..................slime man'', ''free him'' or ''i came out tonight to have a good time and i am honestly feeling so attacked right now'' that can be put after an image post or text post alike. i am wholeheartedly baffled by this whole new meme era and i hope soon that we return to the conventional tumblr meme styles.
sexhaver:

"hey boss we need to choose an NGE character to use for our razor marketing tie-in"
"hm what about the canonically suicidal one who tried to slit her wrists"
"perfect"

sexhaver:

"hey boss we need to choose an NGE character to use for our razor marketing tie-in"

"hm what about the canonically suicidal one who tried to slit her wrists"

"perfect"

onesteppcloser:

imagine right before you fall asleep you get to see previews to 3 dreams and then you get to decide which dream you want for that night.

martinseptim:

beats by dr. phil